2005-12-20, 01:03 PM — simple things...
I'm not that hard to please, really. Case in point: I changed my work email signature this morning. I added "Happy Holidays!" in Arial 10pt Bold, alternating green and red each letter.
Thus, I now get a little thrill each time I send out an email message. I was sending invoices, and each time I hit "send" I ended up being inordinately pleased with myself.
2005-11-04, 09:30 AM — i'm bored of my own thoughts...
Lately, my mind has felt really disorganized. The things I usually like to think about are all still in there, but they're all jumbled up. I'll spend five minutes wondering what I want to think about, and then wondering why I picked that particular topic.
Or I'll think about something for five minutes, and suddenly realize that I'm thinking about something other than what I intended to in the first place.
I mean, that happens, but it's been happening a lot lately.
I think the most frustrating thing is the first part, though. Just wondering what it is I enjoy thinking about and what I enjoy doing. I'm used to knowing what I want, and enjoying very specific things and thoughts. For example, I like making up stories in my head. I've got characters and a lot of drama to work out in there, so it's a good thing for me to spend some time playing in my head every day. But it's hard to do that when I start to decide I don't want to think about certain stories or characters. Then there's nothing to fill the gap.
Am I being too vague? I don't know if this is one of those things other people do. When I was young, I used to assume that other people feel and think many of the same things in the same way. Now that I'm a bit older I've realized that there are things that go on in my head that are not shared by the wider population...
2005-11-02, 09:25 AM — an ear with which to hear
My left ear is blocked entirely this morning, thanks to what my doctor calls "incredibly tiny ear canals." It means I can't hear anything out of that side except a loud ringing, which I have to say is throwing me off. Everything feels a little out of balance.
In a strange way, in fact, I kind of feel like I can't see properly because I can't hear properly. Driving in to work this morning was very wierd, because I'm sure I was seeing things the way I normally do, but I felt like my peripheral vision was cut out or something, because I couldn't hear.
Anyways. Time to deal with it. I've been putting it off because the goop I'm supposed to put in my ear to clean it reeks like ... well, it's an interesting, unique smell. Not in a good way, really. But I think it's time to buckle down and sniff the medicine.