2005-01-28, 01:46 PM — ideas for reducing the stagnation
So, I have to wonder what the point of this whole website really is anymore. I'm not updating it and I suspect that anyone who did read it is slowly growing tired of checking back and finding the same old entry again and again.
I go through spurts of wanting to share my random thoughts with the world. Frankly, I also go through spurts of having thoughts to share. I don't always feel eloquent or interesting enough to write anything here. Frequently I don't.
I have this problem, see, with talking about school here, in that I feel it's always whining; my life is full of difficult things, but nothing so difficult or tremendous that I feel I can complain. I have lots of wonderful things too, things that I cherish... but they don't necessarily get written down here either.
I thought of reducing bp to an abstract sort of thing where I write only fiction or those random thoughts that I would write down in a scrapbook of thoughts to keep for ideas. Maybe not a reduction; maybe an expansion. But then I have to wonder if posting fiction or ideas here would make me any more likely to post or to write fiction at all? The conclusion I come to is no.
And I really don't have much to talk about that I'm extremely passionate about. The environmental issues I investigate at school are important, but I spend enough time muddling through them and condemning various sectors of the human race in my head an in discussion with others in my program that I don't really want to put it here.
I would keep a birding journal online, perhaps, and that might be a fun idea. Goodness knows most of the people who read this little blurb aren't going to be so interested in that, but there are others who would be. I could keep a gardening jounal online, too.
That's something to do this summer, I think. Keep a garden, not necessarily a journal about the garden... although to be fair maybe I should do both. I'm not going to have a garden here, but I am going to tear up a plot at my parents' and visit it regularly, once or twice a week, to weed and putter about. I'm already getting excited about ordering seed for it, laying it out... a 10x10 vegetable plot, and maybe I'll throw in some New England asters and black-eyed susans...
So, yes. I'm not giving up on myself here yet. Not quite. There are things to say, things to do...
2004-12-16, 09:40 AM — griping
You know that end-of-term feeling where you're soooo close to being done that you feel like you can just quit now?
I'm there. Which means that either I am giving up early, or I really am very close to being done. I prefer to think it's the latter.
I've had a very intense couple of weeks, but the last two days have been less intense academically and more intense travelling-wise. That is going to change today, but tomorrow both will be combined into a pleasantly awful day until the evening.
Plus there's moving. Plus there's the fact that I have no food, thanks to the fridge dying and being fixed (with the combination of both, I now have no food at all, except for rice and sauce-less pasta).
So a smart, energetic person may go to Fortinos right now, and pick up some food for the day and maybe a tea from Tim's on the way back. We know that I am supposedly smart, but I am the furthest thing from energetic right now. Well, close, anyways... I'm not exactly comatose. But close.
2004-12-08, 08:38 AM — December rain
The wind outside has been absolutely alive since some time on Monday. If it was behaving like a proper December, we'd have about three feet of snow and school would have been closed yesterday due to blizzard conditions.
Instead, it poured and I walked down to Fortinos for some chow. I figured I would probably be the only one stupid enough to do it, particularly since I don't have an umbrella. I wasn't. There was another hardy (or rather, hungry) student coming back on the trail, sans umbrella but with bags of groceries. And we both looked at each other with a, "hey, there -is- someone else as insane as me!" grin on our faces, and then kept walking.
Something about that encounter made my day just a little better.